Is he? Is he not? Well, you need to find that out. Difficult? Could be. But there are telltale signs as unmistakable as a strolling elephant on a sunny day in a lifeless desert. All you need to do is be watchful, and story would reveal itself like an open book. We thought of helping you out with this bad boy, who never seemed to be the committing type, but you know deep in your heart that this time it would be different for him no matter what because this time he is with a ‘very different’ girl – you. Of course, you are amazing and there is nobody like you. But girl, the truth is that even if you are the best soul on earth with a heart made of purest gold filled with as much love as oceans would fail to accommodate, you might still be left heartbroken. So, watch out.
Were all his former girls crazy, scheming witches who never did one good thing for him? Well, what’s common between you and all of them? Of course, the fellow. What’s wrong? Why was each one of them so bad to him? Or was he bad to them, which is why they left him alone? Is it not possible that all his relationships didn’t work because he did not want them to work?
Unless you have some very strong reason to believe otherwise, he could be one such person who is wary of commitment, which means you are just another stop in his ‘colourful’ life.
Romantic is different from affectionate or loving. If he is someone who adores you, it’s fine. But if you are regularly being taken to only the places where there are fewer pair of eyes, there could be two striking reasons for that. One, he does not want to be spotted with you. Two, his main interest is getting cozy with you. In both the scenarios, you have the bad news.
If he does not want to be spotted with you, it has to have some reasons. One could be that he does not want to declare that he is serious about you. People could start getting nosy about your relationship and he does not want to say that you are a couple. Why? Perhaps, you are just someone to pass time with until he finds a hotter chick. Well, that might hit you hard, but it could be the bitter truth.
A guy who is not interested in hiding the truth about the relationship is always a safer bet. Expressions like ‘friend’, ‘close friend’, ‘special friend’, etc are meant to avoid commitment so that tomorrow when it is walk-out time, people don’t ask, “why?”
He inundates you with messages one day and for the next four days you don’t see his name flash on your mobile screen even once. He would be all too romantic and mushy one day and for the next few days you would hardly get to hear from him. If you call, he would be busy and would “call you later”, and the ‘later’ would not arrive before you call again, which is when he would explain that he got too tied up and after all the ‘hard work’ he was so tired that he did not know when he dozed off.
The truth of the matter could as well be that he dozed off in somebody else’s arms. People do get busy and they may not get time to call, but if your guy sounds distant and not all too interested when you ring him up, chances are that he is playing around with as many options as he could find. Find the truth, and if it is what we fear it is, drop the fellow right away like a sack of potatoes too heavy to carry because either you do it or he eventually would.
Pestering for sex?
It is not unusual for guys to try and get close, but if your guy is a little too insistent and persistent, it could be a sign that he is not into you, but is in it only for ‘fun’. It is not uncommon for guys to get the girl emotional and get her in bed, which is their sole interest. Once that is done, they would soon lose interest with the passage of time and while you are still struggling to come to terms with what happened, they would already be on with a new hunt. So, make sure that your fellow wants you and not just your body.
His friends often behave as though you were just someone. They do not pay the kind of attention one would pay to the ‘partner’ of a friend. And he behaves as though you don’t even exist, hardly acknowledging that you are an important part of his life. Simply put, you feel as though you were just another acquaintance of his. He is not particularly interested in taking you along when he goes to meet his friends; neither does he ever cast a loving glance during a conversation with his friend if you two chance upon a friend of his somewhere. The special treatment that you deserve is never extended to you.
But as soon as friends disappear he is back to his loving self. All the care and affection comes back. Surely, there is something wrong. And you must find out whether this tendency of his could be explained or is it simply because he is just with you, but does not really want to be with you forever.
Too much, too soon?
Are things running too fast? Does he seem to be saying too much too soon? It has only been a month or less and he is has already told you a dozen times that he loves you from the bottom of his heart and he thinks the two of you are made for each other and you are the divine shower in his parched life and what not.
No, not that love at first sight does not happen or people don’t fall in love this madly, but generally it takes a little while for the guy to declare what he feels so smoothly. So, if he is too smooth, may be it has got something to do with practice. Of course, one should keep room for exceptions and possibly your guy is one of those fairly articulate dudes who have the guts to say what they feel without a moment’s hesitation. But such people are very different from regular guys. So, if you are confident that your man is one of them, all is good, but if he is one those hot looking studs, well, our advice: Watch out.
That said, it is not good to be too suspicious of your partner; but then, it is better to be not so nave as to get hurt.
Originally published on Ezine Articles on October 03, 2010.